Rowling or Dave Chappelle, you might be ok. Works every time.ĥ) Be the world's most famous author or the world's most famous comedian: If your name is J.K. Cancel mobs are extremely forgiving, and will always offer forgiveness if you apologize!Ģ) Lie down on your back with your arms and legs sticking up in the air as a sign of submission: This is even more effective if you also wet yourself.ģ) Change your name, get plastic surgery so no one recognizes you, and move to Cambodia: This is the only country still accepting canceled people.Ĥ) Distract the mob by yelling: 'Look over there! It's Tucker Carlson!': Tucker is like a flashy fishing lure to these people. Here are a few pointers:ġ) Offer a tearful and heartfelt apology, which always makes cancel mobs go away: Apologies NEVER make things worse. Never fear-we at the Babylon Bee are experts in getting canceled and can help you out. Shame on you! Now, the mob is out to destroy your life with devastating amounts of accountability! Sad! Seriously though-it serves you right for saying 'Ew, that song is gay' on AOL Instant Messenger when you were in high school.

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